Retrospect

In retrospect, I feel that the Adoption Agency did not treat me very fairly. I could be wrong but this is just how I feel right now. I’m depressed, I’m anxious, I don’t want to do anything. After speaking with my brother about the job situation, he was quite upset and borderline angry; which is not like him.

Surely starting a new job will make anyone anxious, some more than others. Could CA really have not given me a couple of days to settle my nerves? They could not say, OK, we can see you have a really good reference, minimal sick time off work, a great skill set meeting the role requirements, we’ll give you a couple of days to adjust. I didn’t expect sick pay or anything.

When I spoke with their HR team the lady was very polite, but she almost used my anxiety against me. She took someone who was very upset and gave them (me) four hours to say whether I would either be in work, or resign. She said it was the companies interest that they needed someone now, I understood that but they would have to go through the whole employment process again, what a waste –  I was willing and I told her I wanted the job. Which I really did. She then told me that I should probably have a break from work, in a very calm way. To put something in writing that evening. She made out it isn’t normal to feel anxious. Yes, my anxiety is a little worse than others but if they had supported me I would have been fine after a week or so.

I’m not used to being unemployed, I’ve been in work since I left college and now my confidence has been destroyed. I keep blaming myself although everyone tells me not to.

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