My Old Friend, Mr Anxiety.

Dear Old Friend, we’ve known each other throughout my entire existence, almost everyday you greet me as I leave my home, my sanctuary, the only place you rarely enter.

Dear Old Friend, you have accompanied me through every chapter of my life, your guidance has helped me to overcome my burdens, grief and self doubt. Your strenuous efforts to warn me of any dangers ahead have protected me and kept me safe.

Dear Old Friend, I sometimes feel as helpful as you can be, I cannot keep you within my control. It does not feel normal to shake and feel nauseous when sometimes you visit, however you say to accept your guidance with open arms, I feel lost and utterly confused.

Dear Old Friend, tonight we dined in a restaurant full of co-workers and friends. You came along for the journey and chatted away until we reached the table. I felt you squeeze the energy from my body, the breath from my lungs, why oh why did you do that?

Dear Old Friend, you’re squeezing me too tight and I can scarcely breathe, my voice is just a whisper. That nauseous feeling has greeted me once again and it was too late, I was sick at the table.

Dear Old Friend, as terrified as I am to face you with your darkened veil, your persistent presence is no longer welcome and I demand that you leave! I feel you smoother me as I try to tip toe from my home. I feel your unearthly control dominating me, strangling me, as my attempts to overcome you repeatedly fail in catastrophic ways. My body is shaking uncontrollably. Please leave and never return.

Dear Old Friend, why do you continue to pursue your relentless campaign to revoke any and all social outings I am invited to? Why must your selfish lingering spoil any chance I have of overcoming my hellish nightmares and infuriating fears.

Dear Old Friend, it pains me to admit that I once looked to you as a source of great comfort and release, when times were so difficult and things were tragically getting worse.I turned to you when I was engulfed in a deep pit of tangled anguish and despair, but you betrayed me in the most conniving and unsuspecting way.

Dear Old Friend, every corner I now turn is full of dead ends and darkened rooms. Padlocked doors greet me as I try to regain control, I find myself avoiding the things I once enjoyed. My shackles feel too overwhelming to fight you today. My heart is pounding and my peripheral vision sees shadows where monsters lurk. I envy your sickening confidence, your determination and devotion to my suffering.

Dear Anxiety, I’m going to face you someday, I am gradually but surely going to regain my control over you.

I’ll remove your veil and stare into your dark and hollow eyes. I’ll remove my chains and walk into where the shadows hide.

I’d take pleasure in your welcome demise, however you may stick around, for in time I may require use of you once again. But never again will you use me.